Happy Saturday.
Good morning, let’s have a little coffee chat together.
Unlock the Magic turned 1 month old this week and I felt a little anti-climactic even though everything I’m doing feels good. I think it’s because I really leaned into my mission this week of not letting one more woman be harmed by the patriarchy…but…is that realistic? Can I, by myself, do that? I mean, of course not.
What I mean by that is, when a person, women especially, are feeling stuck/harmed/manipulated/forced beholden to something that doesn’t allow her to walk in her authentic light due to responsibilities or expectations set by the world around her, that wasn’t designed with her in mind - I am on a mission to help her assess to be able to walk in that authentic light.
Becoming a certified life coach has been interesting because many will tell you that you mustn’t force your agenda on your clients, which I have no intention of doing; however, I am an avid feminist and will always have that activist edge to me. I will vehemently agree with a woman if she is sharing with me that she’s being discriminated against as a woman and will swiftly help her to get out. This is what actually sets me apart from other coaches, but you have to know what you’re getting into with me.
As stated previously, I am balancing between “policing” patriarchy, and giving space for others to share their experiences based on what they’ve been conditioned to do in this life - this isn’t always easy, and I fully admit that. I had a recent encounter in which a neighbor made an extremely racist remark in my presence and I froze and ended up just walking away…then had a great remorse for not standing my ground in that moment and telling him how harmful that was. I felt like a fraud that I didn’t say anything and got lost in the swirl for a moment.
I have largely subscribed to “if you don’t say anything to correct the problem, you become part of the problem” and I was being pretty hard on myself. I then offered myself another option - what if, the next time I have this neighbor’s full attention, I proactively share more about my passions in life which would include deconstructing the patriarchy, helping people to understand that words matter (no matter how innocent) and that we should take care of one another and not make disparaging remarks no matter what, and try to lean into the education piece of my being a change agent? This way, I may be able to help him keep his listener on so that neither of us feel triggered?
Some may think I’m giving this man too much of a chance, and that may be true, but if we write everyone off in our lives the moment they have a troubling moment and we don’t give ourselves the chance to share and educate, then who is making a difference? Are we making any progress?
I don’t have room in my life for bigotry, racism, misogyny, any type of discrimination - what I do have room for is leading with grace and education so that I can make a difference and I believe that if I’m able to plant a seed with someone, that can grow and help them to become a better human. Listen, it’s not easy every day, and I would dare anyone to come at me with some misogyny and see what happens, but it’s a journey and I’m trying every day.
Today I shall continue my path of giving space and grace as a change agent, and not a police officer. I’m human too, I’m not perfect, oh hell no but I’m learning and trying.
May you have the best coffee poop of the weekend, cheers.
