Paging humanity…hello?
Over the past year, I have been gathering 3rd degree stories of systemic toxicity and abuse in the workplace - both from my own experience and also from those of others, from many types of organizations.
The challenge is, I can’t do anything about these situations nor can the law - there is nothing to protect people from verbal or mental abuse because the law requires more than documented accounts (when physical abuse), but further, there is no law that says mental and verbal abuse/toxic work environment is illegal…yet.
The day to day for these individuals is heart wrenching, knowing they have no support and if they were to come forward, they would be fired. I truly don’t care what anyone says - retaliation is alive and very real in the workplace - HR will turn a blind eye while the “leaders” of the offending organizations “handle” it. So then, the abused individuals become such a shell of themselves that they too begin to harm others. This is the systemic part. Toxicity breeds fast and often while everyone is just trying to survive every day, protecting themselves by way of income and benefits.
Recently, I ran into a male executive whom I know to be extremely abusive. I shared the great news that I had branched out on my own to which he stated “I’m sorry”, somehow suggesting that my new success doesn’t measure up to the daily beatdown I used to endure - I realized in this moment that he has blissful ignorance about what was going on around him. I also believe that he too has fallen victim to the toxicity and has no other way to survive in the workplace.
The other examples are far worse and horrifying and again, there are many people around that were witness to the consistent abuse and harassment - to those people, I sincerely say fuck off as I carve the path for more women to come forward. May I never see you in life again - also thank you for reminding me of my unquestionable compass.
Do I feel bad about these people perpetuating the patriarchal toxicity? Yes and no - I feel bad that they received it and became conditioned by it, but I’m also angry that they then became part of the problem instead of doing something about it. Where is the moral compass? Do you put it on pause while at work and then rev it up to go back to your loved ones? I was told by a trusted peer that I had become a shell of myself, perpetuating the treatment that I had been receiving, but I did something about it - I launchd an investigation upon my departure and got the hell out.
I’ve said this a million times, I don’t expect others to do what I did but doing nothing makes you very much part of the problem. We’re now at the point where I’d venture to say that every Director and above of any organization is very aware of this abuse in the workplace, has seen it, received it, or heard about it. If you fall into any of the 3 buckets and have done nothing - you’re part of the problem.
If you take the stance of “not me, not mine” toward this abuse then you have a lack of humanity and we will not vibe.
Do better. Be human.
