Do the work.

So, it took me 40 years to remember what it felt like to exist on the soul plane. For 40 years, I had the mentality of “that’s life”, “when am I going to get a break”, everything and everyone was happening TO me, not FOR me.

I get it. It’s hard to get out of that mindset, believe. I lived it for so long.

In September, I started getting what I thought were skin boils on my bikini line - ok no biggie, those of us who have ever trimmed/waxed/shaved in that area knows exactly what I’m talking about and it’s beyond normal to get any sort of bump there. Ok, so time goes by and one gets bigger, then I get another one - ok so this was no longer “normal”.

I went to the dermatologist and they prescribed a mild antibiotic, and injected anti-inflammatories directly into the boils - or cysts as they called them. There weren’t soft nor plump, nothing came out of them - so away I went. A month later, one had shrunk and the other was decreasing in size, alright coolio…

Well at the beginning of October, on a Wednesday morning I noticed a third one pop up, a little different as it felt more “zitty” - the term I would give everyone :) Then the next day (Thursday), it seemingly popped in the shower, again nothing too strange so I thought that was the end of the zitty bump on the top of my vagina.

Nope.

Friday morning I woke up and the top of my vagina had swollen to a softball and was red, swollen, and throbbing. Ok so not a zit…it still took me all day to realize it was something pretty serious, or could be. I had stayed in bed all day with a hot water bottle between my legs, had a fever, and felt like I had the flu - just super sick.

I went to the hospital where they admitted me right away and started a morphine drip - I kept getting glimpses of insight from my spirit team, that it was sepsis or on its way to it. Morphine is awesome.

For the first few days we were waiting on an CT scan before they’d get in to operate on it so in the meantime, I was getting so heavy hitter antibiotics pumped into me via IV - that would collapse my veins every couple days, which required a new IV.

I was in the hospital 4 days on the IV antibiotics and they did nothing so once the CT scan came back to confirm there was something to drain (and not something otherwise like a tumor or something), and they went in. The scan showed that I had cellulitis, a skin infection that had spread throughout the entire left side of my pelvis (likely from the very first cyst as stated above).

To make super sure there was nothing to drain, the surgeon came in and stuck a needle directly into the softball - WTF…without any numbing agent, just stuck it in - I was traumatized and felt violated that he just did it…it was shocking and very upsetting. I then went through stages of shame not having stuck up for myself or called the nurse but I did make sure to share it with anyone who would listen after the fact and learned an important lesson about patient advocacy - do not let anyone touch you or do anything to you without your express consent.

For those with a weak stomach, I’ll talk about what they actually did now -

Reminder at this point, I was on day 5 of the softball size thing on the top of my vagina - so imagine having to pull down your pants at least 5 times a day to show doctors, nurses, and other specialists your vagina. I actually got pretty used to it, but also, because of the location, there was a reaction due to society being taught for ages that privates are something to be ashamed of.

The surgeon cut a 4 inch deep hole in the top of my vagina and drained 300+ cc’s of gray pus from this creation…then stuck his entire finger up to the top of my pelvis (from the inside) to clear any additional from the previous 2 cysts that may have been infected. I have a nice cord of scar tissue through my pelvis from where he did this.

After surgery, I felt a world of relief from the softball. It was still swollen and red due to the surgery and the surgeon had packed (very tightly) the new 4 inch hold with gauze to keep absorbing fluid and to clear infection.

The next day or 2 was fine, I was getting better - then it came time to remove the gauze. Reminder, packed very tightly and had been in there for a couple days. It was like that magic trick where there is the multicolored scarf up someone’s arm sleeve and they just keep pulling it out - it took probably almost a full minute to get it all out, oh and it hurt.

Ok so this is day 5 in the hospital and I had had 4 IV locations with 6-8 attempts, I had 3 sites of collapsed veins that were swollen, bruised, and throbbing, I had a needle stuck directly into the softball without numbing, and now had a big new hole on the top of my vagina - to say I was in pain and frustrated with the pokes is an understatement.

Then my tooth broke.

Then I was able to go home and the first day back was glorious, I took a hot pressurized shower, and got cozy in bed while taking my pain meds and antibiotics - lots of sleep.

The next day I woke up and had come down with a bad cold from the hospital - alright, what’s the big idea here??? Ok message received, I’m not supposed to be doing a damn thing. Stand down.

I had a visiting nurse come over to check my healing throughout the month and I also needed to keep going to different doctors including the surgeon. Each time, the nurse needed to stick a big swab inside of the hole to measure how deep it was and how it was healing - same with the surgeon, same damn swab.

For the past month since I got home, I’ve been resting and healing, reflecting and finally received the all clear tonight. The softball is gone and the new hole is closed! Woot!

I had one last poor experience with the same surgeon in the stories above - tonight, I went to show him my surgery site one last time and without telling me, he stuck another damn needle in there - and now it hurts again! WTF.

Before I go into why you should do the work, I’m pretty spicy about how my male surgeon just kept “going in” with his needles - it felt violating and especially where my wound was. It’s not ok and I’m having a conversation with him about it tomorrow.

Ok, so now for the high vibe stuff -

It’s no surprise to me that this all happened in the location that it did as my 2nd chakra has been imbalanced my entire life. And, over the past year, for the first time in life, I finally began to process and heal from the first 40 years of my life - all of the trauma in my life, but also those of generational.

What I hadn’t realized is that my soul was doing work at such a rapid pace, my physical body wasn’t quite at the same speed so it all began culminating in my second chakra (also why it needed released/drained). This is what can happen when you delay the work, it will culminate and can get stuck if you’re not releasing fully.

It will just get harder and more painful the more you delay - please do the work.